A Bristol University study has "found" that some dogs are such extreme pessimists that they suffer anxiety when left alone. The Researchers came to this conclusion by studying 24 dogs of various breeds ranging from nine months to nine years old. First they began the study by going to a room with each dog in turn and playing for 20 minutes. They returned the next day, but this time left the dog alone for five minutes, during which the scientists recorded the animal's behaviour with a video camera. The footage was used to give each dog an anxiety score.
A day or two later, the dogs were trained to walk over to a food bowl that was full when placed at one end of a room, and empty when placed at the other. When the dogs had learned the difference, the scientists tested the animals' underlying mood by placing bowls in ambiguous positions – in the middle of the room, for example – and noting how quickly each dog went to the bowl.
The most anxious dogs were slowest to approach food bowls placed in or near the middle of the room, suggesting they expected to find the bowl empty.
The less anxious dogs ran to the food bowls, implying they were more optimistic.
Now, that is the Researcher's view of the results.
My view? The inferior being that is the dog, is neither "toilet bowl half full or half empty". He simply is a trainable simpleton, too needy for human interaction, and with the memory function akin to a goldfish, unable to think outside the box. That is why when his owner comes through the door each day he acts as if he has not seen them for years, while we Cats merely saunter from our chosen resting place or lift our heads momentarily from sleep, to make the briefest acknowledgement of their return.
No self respecting Cat would be fooled or made anxious by such "puerile antics" as moving a food bowl. If a Researcher tried to "play" with us for 20 minutes, he would find he would be permitted maybe 5 minutes of play, followed by 15 minutes of clawing, scratching, biting and hissing!
Supposedly "intelligent" dogs such as Lassie are paraded in front of us to show the guile and ingenuity of the species. I put it to you that Lassie was merely trained to jump and bark on command, and that without such training Lassie would have watched helpless on the riverbank, as the child was carried away by the torrent of waters, thinking to itself, "Oh well, we all have go sometime I suppose - now where is that bone?".
Dog owners should take heart - they are in no danger of finding their dog reading Sylvia Plath, overdosed on worming tablets, with the Cat standing over them saying, "It's a cry for help!!". If a dog is "depressed" they will be distracted for hours by nothing more challenging than a chew toy.
And why not be so optimistic? All available food is our food, every piece of furniture is ours to sit or sleep upon, our affections are ours to bestow and withdraw at will, and we are equipped with such superiority of mind that when our bowl may be found empty, we can merely enter through the cat flap of the neighbouring Kin and eat all their food, and the dog's too!
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