"If you're OCD and you know it wash your paws! If you're OCD and you know it wash your paws!...."

I overheard my owners talking about the fact that they think I have OCD. I thought they meant I had Obvious Catty Disdain for other lesser mortals - which would be true!

However, I MewGoogled "OCD", and it turns out that it is a kind of neurosis known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - repetitive behavior characterised by e.g. repetitive washing or behaviours always performed in the exact same order, and which if the sufferer is disturbed, often have to be performed again from the start, for fear of increased anxiety.

Cartoon by Jeff Swenson

How ridiculous! ........Excuse me for a moment while I wash my left paw, then my right paw, then my left ear then my right ear, then my tummy and finally my nether regions.....oh dear, I got distracted by a bird at the window......now where was I? Best start again.....I wash my left paw, then my right paw, then my left ear then my right ear, then my tummy and finally my nether regions.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, How Ridiculous! Owners (i.e. Pot), meet the black kettle!

My male owner has OCUT - Obsessive Compulsive Usage of Technology. Surrounded by three laptops in his home office, seemingly surgically attached to his iPhone, nigh drooling over his "PC Pro" magazine every month and recoiling when asked to use paper and or pen to do anything! He often says that if they would invent a "meal pill" that would give all the nutritional requirements without the need to eat, that would be progress! He better not pull any pill stunt with me, replacing my beloved catty kibble!

As for my female owner, she does have OCD - seemingly obsessed with my fur on any floor, furniture or other surface and perpetually armed with sellotape and dustpan and brush to remove the same. I must admit to the devilish enjoyment I get from sitting in front of her and feigning a frenetic scratching session - sends her into a fervour of flea spraying and sympathetic scratching of her own!

Anyway, I do not have OCD -  would know if I had OCD - to be on the safe side I will get my owners to ring the Vet to check...and then ring the Vet again at least nine times to check that they have not made a mistake! Now, where was I?...oh yes......I wash my left paw, then my right paw, then my left ear then my right ear, then my tummy and finally my nether regions.