Super-Bog-Standard-Cat

My owners get very agitated if I wish to go out after dark, fearing that I will become a latchkey "Youf", hanging about on street corners, and only one step away from a Catty-ASBO. As a result I have a curfew, which I can manage to evade if I hide in the undergrowth when they call me in, and resist the temptation to be fooled by the rattling of my Whiskas tin or the opening of the fridge. Sometimes I am tempted, and inadvertently find myself locked in the house, watching from the kitchen window the antics of more wiley Kin, going about their night time activities, a series of glowing eyes and shadowy crouching feline figures skulking in the dark.

Maybe my owners do have a point - Catty Society Worldwide has degraded, with unplanned pregnancy rates rocketing. However, I have become very concerned by the proposed enforced sterilisation of all cats in Belgium and routine culling, that will effectively mean that Heinz 57 Variety Moggies like me, will die out! Even if our Yo-Yo-Knickers-Kin can have "One pregnancy every six months and 36 offspring in less than 16 months", that's no reason to allow only breeders and owners of "Siamese, Abyssinian and other special pedigrees" to be exempted from the new compulsory sterilisation regime. No offence to my Catty Brethren, Gilbert and Sullivan (two handsome pedigree friends of mine), but such genocide cannot be acceptable!?

Thankfully, there are some vocal dissenters to the proposed regime. "Pet owners will rebel and refuse to do it," agreed Marleen Meersseman, who helps to run a rescue service for stricken wild animals in the Flemish village of Nieuwkerke. "And this wouldn't be Belgium if people did not find a back door."

Hmmmm hmmmm - now I'm not what you'd call "experienced" in matters carnal and copulatory, and I don't wish to be crude, but even I, with my cursory knowledge of biology, know that reference to the "back door" is surely not going to ensure the survival of the Super-Bog-Standard-Moggy-Cat?! Just a thought?!